A year alone

I hardly notice the dust on the clock  
The world fuzzy with the bright white light 
The one that makes me forget that I’m alone 
But I’m content 
I can still sing loudly and dance terribly 
The flowers are still blooming and dying 
The food is never bland and always fresh  
But sometimes, only sometimes 
I feel agonizing loneliness 
When I convince myself that I’m odd 
After a conversation full of empty taglines 
Driving by myself along suburban roads 
Missing those I will never see again  
It’s tiring so I try to stop 
But as I go to sleep, I feel it again 
What I wish I wasn’t 
How there is no one I can call 
That I feel like a burden 
And I feel that weight on my chest 
Again and again 
For every night 
Until I wake up and feel optimistic for a second 
Before the bright sky light reminds me that everything is the same